The Finngirl's Guide to Finn Whitman
by Maxniss Everide
Summary: Does your heart melt every time you read about the lead DHI? Do you love his epic name? Do you love his hair? Do you have urges to kill Amanda? Then you are a Finngirl! This is the guide to tell you how to win his heart! Rated T because well it is!


_**A/N Yea, I just got this idea today. This is meant to be a one-shot, because I have a lot of other stuff that I have to write. I'm sorry, I don't think I'd be able to do another chapter of this even if I wanted too; it's Maybeck's fault since he needs another adventure.**_

_**Oh, and don't take ANYTHING in this Fanfic seriously. This is just for laughs, so if it offends you or anyone in any way... then I apologise ahead of time.**_

_**Well anyway, this was just a little stupid idea that I had, so I hope you enjoy it!**_

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The Finngirls Guide to Finn Whitman

**Preface: The Boy of Your Finngirl Dreams**

Have you ever dreamt of having Finn Whitman saving you from Maleficent in Space Mountain or from Chernabog in Expedition Everest or just randomly thought of him running away from a snake? Well, now you can finally get the boy you've dreamed of!

Yes, you read that right! If you follow my instructions and heed them well, then the leader of the Kingdom Keepers will be yours! But be warned, he is an easy death target for everyone's most hated evil green fairy and most likely will not protect you from a snake. Not to mention that his heart is already set on another girl.

If you tread upon this carefully and don't act like a crazy Finngirl every time you're around him, you most likely will have his heart.

**Chapter One: Knowing What You're Getting Yourself Into**

We all know Finn Whitman, don't we? The boy who's parents strongly suggested that he should try out for the DHI program and he reluctantly did so? Afterward having the Imagineer Wayne tell him that he was chosen for being the leader of the Keepers against the Overtakers? Of course this led to his many adventures against the evil green fairy from _Sleeping Beauty, _Maleficent. Chernabog finally comes to power and also tries to kill Finn and the Keepers (but as you probably know, mostly Finn). Then, the legend of Finn Whitman was born!

And you may as well know this: two of his fellow Keepers have a crush on him. On of them is fairly obvious: Amanda Lockhart. She's been Finn's right hand girl since the beginning of the DHI program. She's the one who cheers him up and helps him when he gets in trouble. They've had their share of saving each other's lives and it most likely seems that they will end up together.

The other girl you should somewhat be aware of is Charlene Turner. If you pay attention very closely, you can see how much she tries to flirt with Finn and sometimes seems overprotective of him when Amanda is around. She's toned down this quite a bit though, due to the fact that she likes Maybeck- though she doesn't know that yet- and is slowly getting over the lead Keeper. But you should probably still keep your eye on her nonetheless.

Even worse than the two girl Keepers is the biggest Finngirl of them all: Jeanie. _If you value your life you will stay away from her. _She can tell if you like everyone's favorite DHI more than a friend or not. She's like a bloodhound, who can smell your love for him (and your trail when you try to run away from her)

Next, we have Finn's enemies: practically every Disney Villan that can be found in DisneyWorld. And "It's a Small World" dolls, though I've heard that if you smile- or give them chocolate- then anyone is safe with them.

First we have Maleficent. If you haven't figured it out yet, she's kind of obsessed with taking over DisneyWorld (then most likely the real world *shudders*) and ruining Finn's life and/or killing him. She was best known (and really only known) for being the villan in _Sleeping Beauty _who was an evil green fairy who wanted Aurora dead. Of course, there wasn't much of a true reason for this. This was most likely because she wasn't invited to the princess's birthday party thing or just because she was plain evil. Though it was never fully explained, she was indeed that villan and did everything in her power to try to kill the girl. Now, she wants to do the same to Finn since he is a threat to her world domination plot.

Secondly, there's Chernabog. He basically just wants to kill Finn because Maleficent wants him to. This may be due to his love interest for her or maybe just his ambition to take over the park as well. He might even try to get Maleficent out of the way for this. Who knows his true intentions for Finn's demise?

Of course there are others such as the DHI animals, the pirates, the giant snake- Gigabite I think, and Stitch. Why is Stitch evil? Well this is the Stitch before he met Lilo I believe, so that might explain his hatred for Finn and all things good. All of Finn's other enemies only try to kill him because of ambition for park domination and well... they're afraid of what Maleficent will do to them if they don't do what she says.

There's a bully at Finn's school named Louskii who is in love with Amanda who wants to get Finn out of the way. Of course, you might want to stay away from Finn's school- this guy might give up on Amanda and go for you instead, therefore giving Amanda a chance with your man. So just don't go around this guy.

So, if you really do value your life, not only do you have to avoid Jeanie; you'll need to steer clear or at least be wary of these creeps too. If you have any second thoughts about dating Finn, then you still have a chance to turn back now. Trust me, these villans should not be taken lightly, they will try to hurt you and/or kill you.

But if you continue on, well... you have been warned.

**Chapter 2: Do Not Leave the Path**

"What path? What path are you speaking of?" you ask. The path to Finn's heart of course! Now, you must understand that Maybeck is still in the equation, remember? He likes almost every girl he meets and thinks that every girl is in love with him. He is still confused on who he is truly in love with: Charlene Turner or Jess Lockhart. He's just a confused child. Don't let him trick you into liking you. His charm as well as his "love" for you is all fake. He is what we like to call a "player". He would leave you for someone else in a minute.

Not to mention that he doesn't want anyone going to Finn. Maybeck pulls pranks on Finn and may do the same to you if you go to the lead Keeper. Just don't like Maybeck, he belongs with Charlene, since Jess already has a boyfriend, Rob.

Philby may also be the charmer, though he doesn't mean to be. Unlike Maybeck, he doesn't really think of girls all that much, his first love are the technical devices that he owns and the ones that are in DisneyWorld. Yes, his accent is cute, but it doesn't do him any good if he ignores you for his electronics.

_The Quiz:_

**Here's one simple question: Who is your favorite Disney character out of these three?**

A. Stitch

B. Aurora

C. Simba

**Next question: Who is your most hated Disney villan?**

A. Bambi (he's a villan, but nobody believes me!)

B. Maleficent, Maleficent, and MALEFICENT! Who wouldn't hate her?

C. Jafar

**If you could go anywhere on your honeymoon, where would you go?**

A. Disneyworld! He freaking WORKS there! We'll get in free!

B. Italy- it's so far away from Disneyworld and Overtakers

C. Disneyland- it's small and that's where Walt started out the Disneyland empire!

**Last Question: If Finn were to walk up to you right now, what would you say?**

A. I'd ask him to take me to Disneyworld at night! It sounds like so much fun!

B. I'd tackle him to the ground since I just saw Maleficent behind- that bush!

C. I'd probably just say "hi" and ask him how his day is going. You know, like how every other normal person in the world would react.

**Mostly A's:**

Common sense probably isn't a common word for you. Sorry, that may be a little harsh. Don't take me seriously... I just don't think trying to make Finn Whitman fall in love with you is exactly a good idea. You're more of a "damsal in distress" and that's really the last thing Finn needs- seeing as to he's one almost 99.9% of the time. He needs someone saving him, at least until he can learn to take care of himself. If you still want him so badly, then don't be Chernabog Chow- start thinking of the consequences of your actions so that Finn and the other Keepers aren't in harms way more often than they usually are.

**Mostly B's**

You have issues. Like, overprotective Mother Bear issues. You most likely wouldn't let him do anything or go anywhere unless you were absolutely certain that Finn wouldn't be hurt in any way, shape, or form. While being aware of Finn's safety is a good thing- seeing as to the fact that he is a death target- you may be going a little over the top. You might be better fit for being Finn's mom or his babysitter instead of his girlfriend. Since he does already have a mom that always worries about him... he doesn't need you to act the same. If you still want to be his girlfriend, though, start by giving him his space and freedom and maybe he may not think you're so bad.

**Mostly C's**

Congratulations! You're actually normal and you aren't completely obsessed over him! Unlike the first two, who are obsessed with him in two different ways, you actually see Finn as a human being! You can talk to him about normal things other than Disney and see that he has other interests as a teenage boy (besides his budding interest in girls). You don't mind him ignoring you sometimes or going to save the world for Overtakers. Sometimes, you may even find yourself trying to help this DHI out of trouble, whether with Maleficent of Louskii. The only thing I can tell you is that he does need someone who he can confide in too, so be willing to talk about his issues sometimes.

Alright! That was a short Quiz! Now onto chapter 2 where I will tell you how to win Finn's heart and get rid of Amanda!

_**Beep...Beep... Website Crashing... Site Crashing... Crashing...**_

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_**...**_

Philby and Finn high-fived as the "Finngirls" site slowly crashed on all the systems around the globe. No one would be able to access the lousy piece of trash now.

"That'll show that meddling girl Maxniss Everide that we don't mess around", Phibly shouted gleefully, carefully sipping his Dr. Pepper.

Finn laughed, "Yea, she thinks that I'm in love with Amanda! Ha!"

Phibly stopped sipping.

"Really? I thought you two..."

Finn shook his head. "No, these 'Finngirls' just read into things too deeply and think that my relationship with her is more than platonic. Honestly, who do they think they are?"

"I don't know, but I think I should go find this Maxniss."

"Why?"

Phibly gave Finn a cocky smile, "To show her that technology isn't the only thing I'm interested in."

**Okay, I know, that was kind of a stupid ending, but I couldn't think of anything to end it with. And I'm kind of a Philby and Maybeck fangirl (I can't decide between them, okay! Aly-owl2, don't kill me for liking Philby!). **

**Okay, so since this is only a one-shot, I shall write no more of this. Just making that clear!**

**So without further ado, Please of Please Review! Thank You!**


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